The Girl @ The Balcony....

~The Girl @ The Balcony~

The girl at the balcony,
She's the one you chose.
I gave you the choice with me in mind,
but alas, your perception of me was not the same as mine.

You thought I was the life of the party,
Or one of those girls in that crowd.
But I am always on the balcony,
enjoying the scenes, moon & clouds.


Am I really the girl of your dreams, or is that someone else?
Someone from your past or another from your future?

Pete said, time keeps going and people grow apart if they don't keep in contact
I'm wondering how long does it take for the feelings to fade.
But that's assume it does fade. Will his love for me fade?

No, i need to believe, and trust him. I have a deep desire for him to love me, as much as i do love him. But why do I love him?

Because i fall in love with the man who loved the fiancee who died so many years ago and still carries her pic in his wallet...

Beacause I fell in love with the man who listens to my problems, and wants to share it with me...

Because I fell in love with the man who guides me to solve my problem and makes me feel taken care of...

Because I love the man who tries to brave for me even when he is afraid...

Because I love a man with a sense of humour and loves to have fun...

Because I love a man who is serious about his work...

Because I love a man who is comfortable with what he has...

Because I love a man who is willing to trust me and travel all the way round the globe just for me...

Because I fell in love with that adorable glasses that sits on his face...

Because I love a man who loves his stubble and stubbornly refuses to remove it...

Because I love a man who knows how to enjoy life...

Just because I love him... I love all that is him or becomes of him.

My alarm still goes off at 11.30pm... the time i had to leave him every night that he was here. I still kept that memory of him, of us, of everything we had.

I believed you when you said you don't know why you took so long to come see me... so i should believe you still.

Meeting you should have made me more assured... Somehow I feel even more insecure.

Whatever it is, wherever life takes me, I will believe in my heart and pray that it leads me to you. I love you. I want you to love me too. Forever. That's my wish.

Will he come back?

What an irony.

When he wasn't over, I kept asking "would he ever come?".

Now that he's come and gone, I ask, "Would he ever come back?"

Why is that man is such a paradox, keep asking for more? Why could man not be content? Insecurities are often indigestible and taste horrible, yet i swallow it like i do my pride. I know it is unbecoming yet I display it so often, I feel ugly.

Why can't I get over it? Why can't I love myself enough to have faith in his love for me??

I remember asking him when he was here, "What is the one thing that he could change if he could turn back time?"

The first time I asked, he said nothing. On our last night, he told me, it was the offer that took him from Portugal back to Belgium. He said he left because of a greater offer. But he thought if he hadn't left Portugal, he would have his friends, his fun, his Fernanda. I tried not to think too much about it. I try to believe he was just being honest. Besides, we just had the greatest 7 days of my life. But was it the same that he had?

We haven't chat since he went back. Busy, was his reason. I had no chance to talk to him. Just waiting for him to talk to me. I have no control, no way to communicate with him until he wishes to. Why am I not secure in his love for me?

I have no answer. Can you tell me?