Will he come back?

What an irony.

When he wasn't over, I kept asking "would he ever come?".

Now that he's come and gone, I ask, "Would he ever come back?"

Why is that man is such a paradox, keep asking for more? Why could man not be content? Insecurities are often indigestible and taste horrible, yet i swallow it like i do my pride. I know it is unbecoming yet I display it so often, I feel ugly.

Why can't I get over it? Why can't I love myself enough to have faith in his love for me??

I remember asking him when he was here, "What is the one thing that he could change if he could turn back time?"

The first time I asked, he said nothing. On our last night, he told me, it was the offer that took him from Portugal back to Belgium. He said he left because of a greater offer. But he thought if he hadn't left Portugal, he would have his friends, his fun, his Fernanda. I tried not to think too much about it. I try to believe he was just being honest. Besides, we just had the greatest 7 days of my life. But was it the same that he had?

We haven't chat since he went back. Busy, was his reason. I had no chance to talk to him. Just waiting for him to talk to me. I have no control, no way to communicate with him until he wishes to. Why am I not secure in his love for me?

I have no answer. Can you tell me?