It's Time... Again!!

It's time... Time for a good old brand new me, again!!

As time passes, people grow.

As problems arose, confusion, anxiety, panic and disorientation increases, we lose track of who we are, where we were and where we wanna go. In desperate times, we begin to grope around in the dark, clinging desperately to whatever we could find, whatever we got our hands on, unwilling to let go because we fear what might happen when we do, IF we do.

However, as we cling on desperately, as time goes, we begin to feel bored of the current situation, less afraid of what's down below, and actually THINKING of what might happen when we break loose? As the thoughts continues, the excitement rose, and we finally let go on an impulse and landed ourselves in another situation. When that happens, only two thoughts will come to mind:

1. SHIT!! Why did I choose to let go?
2. Now, Why didn't I choose to let go EARLIER??

Life is so unpredictable in the sense that we never know what will happen unless we do it. And that's what's happening to me right now. Am i letting go too late? or is it time to let go? How are things gonna happen? Where am I gonna go??

Taking a break, letting the mind clear and bringing things into perspective again, Everything becomes clear. I am once again reminded of who I am, what I wanna be and where I wanna go. Whatever decision I make matters not because there are only two thoughts that will come to my mind from now onwards:

1. What am I going to do to make my life BETTER?
2. How do I get to where I want to go??

There is no point in hanging on to just whatever I find.. In this case, I have been hanging on to someone who I care about, someone who I have not even met. This is not what I want. I hate myself for clinging on. I want him to know who I really am and I am an independent,strong little miss. It's time to act my age instead of an immature little kid looking at the sky from under someone's arm, sheltered and looked after.

If responsibility is what makes us grow up, it's what i'm gonna shoulder. If obedience is what it takes for harmony to prevail, that's what I will be. But I refuse to lose my dreams, and I refuse to lose myself. I will find a way to balance my life, like was my intention so many years ago.

AND I ALWAYS HAVE.