It's Time... Again!!

It's time... Time for a good old brand new me, again!!

As time passes, people grow.

As problems arose, confusion, anxiety, panic and disorientation increases, we lose track of who we are, where we were and where we wanna go. In desperate times, we begin to grope around in the dark, clinging desperately to whatever we could find, whatever we got our hands on, unwilling to let go because we fear what might happen when we do, IF we do.

However, as we cling on desperately, as time goes, we begin to feel bored of the current situation, less afraid of what's down below, and actually THINKING of what might happen when we break loose? As the thoughts continues, the excitement rose, and we finally let go on an impulse and landed ourselves in another situation. When that happens, only two thoughts will come to mind:

1. SHIT!! Why did I choose to let go?
2. Now, Why didn't I choose to let go EARLIER??

Life is so unpredictable in the sense that we never know what will happen unless we do it. And that's what's happening to me right now. Am i letting go too late? or is it time to let go? How are things gonna happen? Where am I gonna go??

Taking a break, letting the mind clear and bringing things into perspective again, Everything becomes clear. I am once again reminded of who I am, what I wanna be and where I wanna go. Whatever decision I make matters not because there are only two thoughts that will come to my mind from now onwards:

1. What am I going to do to make my life BETTER?
2. How do I get to where I want to go??

There is no point in hanging on to just whatever I find.. In this case, I have been hanging on to someone who I care about, someone who I have not even met. This is not what I want. I hate myself for clinging on. I want him to know who I really am and I am an independent,strong little miss. It's time to act my age instead of an immature little kid looking at the sky from under someone's arm, sheltered and looked after.

If responsibility is what makes us grow up, it's what i'm gonna shoulder. If obedience is what it takes for harmony to prevail, that's what I will be. But I refuse to lose my dreams, and I refuse to lose myself. I will find a way to balance my life, like was my intention so many years ago.

AND I ALWAYS HAVE.

What is Love??

Love is...

a feeling that we're searching
something that is not there
it hides when you are seeking
and it pounces on you unawares

It comes like the shadows
it grows as it comes close
But when the light no longer glows
silently, it goes

Like a candle in the wind,
causing the candlelight to flicker
Love is still an emotion
it can dim but also grow stronger

Depending on the lovers
whether they think to shield the wind
or they leave the light to flicker
like a candle in the wind

It takes both hands to clap
likewise, it takes both parties to shield
For, the lack of loving hands to hold
soon, the love will just grow cold

Waiting for the lover
to hold my hands in his
to shield the light together
and keep the passion in

We have just bought the candle
Has it lighted? I don't know
But i will start to intertwine my fingers
in love, in prayer or in hope?
In his arms lies the answer
As i lay my head closer
Waiting for the signal
to shield the light together

That, to me, is love.

Love is a mixture of
honey and lemon
sugar and spice
popsicle with lime
Hard work and time
Strawberries and cream
Children, home and dreams

Missing Someone...

We met online, through a game of pool
Through millions of players, I chose you
We chatted, like we were long-lost friends
We played and played, neither wanting it to end

Alas, time flew and we had to say good-bye
You asked for my contact, so we don't have to be just passer-bys
I joked, saying our time difference is too great
but you reminded me that we can always leave it to fate

It seems that fate want us to be together

As we grew to understand more of each other
Even as the distance drew us apart
The chats we had seemed to bind our hearts

And here I am, missing you like crazy
Waiting for your call, saying "how has your day been, Honey?"
Through all my ups and my recent downs
You made it clear, you would never let me down

Carl, my darling,
my tall, dark and handsome sweetling
You seem like a dream come true
All that I wanted could be easily found in you

I hope that our love can be real
Like the sun, even when the dark clouds hid it from my view
I can feel your warmth, transmitted through the phone
Telling me you would never let me be alone

I miss you, Carl.


From my Dearest Carl,

Miles away is she from me, my heart is sad with sighs,

a picture is all I've ever seen of her smile and pretty eyes.

It was by chance that we first met, by interest she talked to me,

it was by faith that she came back and by love that she's still with me.

My friends all laugh; they don't believe that this love can exist,

but through her words I can hear her voice and feel her gently kiss.

It seems like she's so close to me though we're so far apart,

but that's because she's on my mind and forever in my heart...