Some wounds never heals....

Was talking to Andrea earlier... and she just made me realise...

SOME WOUNDS NEVER HEALS

You may wish to forget... or you may choose to believe you've forgotten. Those that you truly succeed to forget may be a lesson learnt, or a memory erased. But those that linger, or takes such a long time to heal, may never heal at all. All those memories that hurt you, may seem so far away... but when faced with any hint of a similar circumstance or environment, still comes back to hurt you.

How do I truly forget the past?

Or do you not forget it?? I have so many insecurities... so many hurts, betrayals and bad memories that surfaces everytime i get close to anyone.

I can't get close to my gfs for fear of betrayal

I can't get involved in a relationship for fear of being hurt... again

I can't stand my gfs getting to know the guy i like for fear of them snatching him away from me

I can't trust anyone, except myself.

But sometimes, I can't even trust myself.

I try to be strong... Confident. But i am really just a bundle of nerves. I get emotional very easily, and logic never ever saves me in any nick of time. I get suspicious of my own gfs when I get too close. If I found things about my friends that I don't like, I try to forget and just accept who they are as who they are. But the crack remains. The crack, if left unmended, usually lengthens and the mirror of friendship becomes brittle. And the brittle mirrors usually shatters at the smallest touch.

All of them had begin and ended like the one before them.

When will this cycle ever end?